my world

2007-10-13T23:35:00.000+08:00

relationship.... been hoping to start one soon.... but at the same time, wondering if it will end in a sad way.... my cousin broke up with her bf 2 months ago as the latter got to know another girl.... they had been together for years... and engaged... but in the end.... still.....

greyish area....... . . . . .

2007-07-30T21:23:00.000+08:00

m i really go for looks?? o.O

life has been so boring.

i tink i should let go bah

2007-07-04T18:28:00.000+08:00

haiz... everytime i saw him, my heart will... . . . .

it's quite frustrating...

sometimes i will wonder when will i have a boyfriend. sometimes hoping to have someone who will walk mi home, be there for mi... hahas... but i guess that friends can also do that bah....

perhaps it's just the emptiness of my heart

2006-11-21T22:26:00.000+08:00

so vexed recently over the whole week.... haiz.... dono wad i did was a correct thing....

if i were to lose him to this, i WILL surely regret!!

i can't help thinking negatively.....

i can't imagine if he was to ignore mi.... if he wears a mask when he sees mi......
I DON WANT THAT!!!!

i'm gonna be crazy!!!!!!!

though i hope for a fairytale, but i know that it seems very difficult.... but, i still got there's a miracle.... just let mi dream abit bah

2006-10-28T12:08:00.000+08:00

almost one year i never post any entry in this blog le....

wonder if i had matured a little during this period of time.....

reviewing back the entries i blogged in the past, i found that i was stupid in the past... relationship is not to be envy..... nor to want or not.... is just a matter of time.... whereby u get to meet the perfect one..... is to be enjoy being with the one u loved......

felt that my heart tends to sway a little easy.... personal feel.... i'm not too sure.....

sometimes...... to enjoy the situation u having now is a wonderful and important thing to do.... cox u won't noe what will happen in the future.... things can change without u knowing yourself... then by that time, it will be too late to do anythink...

2006-02-09T07:25:00.000+08:00

haiiz.... now is no choice then i post my blog here... supposely tat i want nth important to post here de, except for my feelings, etc.... but.... thanks to that so-call unknown person, or should i say bitch or bastard(to be more specific), i have to leave tat blog... *sob sob* actually planned to close down my tat blog de.... but i cant bear to close it down... or perhaps i'll change the link lor...
hmmm..... yesterday went to watch 'i not stupid too' with junming.. the movie was nice... got some parts very touching.... ahh.... got abit tearing.... den he saw it.... haiiiz..... omg.... :(
den after e show, went to ntuc... pass by roti boy.... saw johnny... omg.... LOL....
haha... know y m i so early today? cox i tot got lab this morning... but my fren say no have... den i wanted to slp again de.... but now my eyes big big liao.... cant slp... so intending to maple later lor... the valentine's tinks in maple damn cute lei!! got wedding system lor!! so kawaii.... got couple ring, got e wedding dress(got traditional and western de), etc etc.... damn cute sia!!!

2006-01-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

here am i again.... haha... after so long.... miss mi? guess not... =)
now... is a new year... where i hope that everytink goes well...
haiz... now i'm feeling very, or should i jus say abit troubled... i really dunno izit my feelings got problem... well... i seemed to have a crush on a classmate..(sort of)... sometimes got sms, got msn chat... and oso chat in school... well.... ok la.... i somehow feels tat he like mi... but dunno lea... mayb is i wrong lor...
haiz... fan leh.... sometimes feel tat he likes mi, but sometimes some actions hor... like not like tat lea.... so i really dunno lor...
how ar...??

2005-12-04T09:34:00.000+08:00

i'm now damn pissed off.... regrading jus now and last nite.... damn pissed off....
last nite was toking over the phone wif boon juay.... he asked when i free, go eat dinner.... but i told him i not free la.... DEN... in e kitchen, MA suddenly told mi not to get so close with guys.... all are "lan tao hua".... and oso tell mi dun get too close wif a maple fren(shan jun, sec 1 boi).... i was like.......... "wa... this dun get too close, tat dun keep in touch..... might as well tell mi dun make frens...." AND tat was exactly wad i told them.... den they keep saying wad dun go relationship now... focus on studies... dun get close with shan jun... scared later got wad tink happen or wadever lah....
HELLO!!! PLEASE lor.... he's sec one, 13 years old.... i'm poly 1st year, 17..... am i really tat dumb or wadever to get involve wif him? HUH?? den mentioned about tat wei hao again.... say wad if i didn't send e wrong signal to him, i will get insulted meh.... den BRO said wad got saw mi flirted with him before.... wad e hell.... how come i dun remember anytink abt it...?? he really like gettin mi into trouble lor... why dun they tink is tat cox he got liked mi before... tat's why his gf dun like mi lea.... they everytink only look at e surface de.... dunno everytink den they kept saying it was my fault....
when tat actual tink happened, kel once commented tat my family will stood by mi.... wad a piece of shit....
jus say they dun trust mi....
den MA kept sayin dun blog anymore, dun use friendster, blah blah....... WELL.... might as well tell mi dun live anymore.... since i cannot do ALOT of tinks.... wad's e point of living....
i really really longed for a relationship... i wanted someone to stand by mi, dote mi, love mi, trust mi and whenever in times of need, he will be by my side.... IF my family can satisfy mi with all these, i wouldn't want a relationship....

jus now.... MA dunno tell mi to do wad.... i can't exactly understand her 'orders' lor.... den she throw her temper le.... wad e hell sia.... like tat might as well do herself....
i really hate them!!

2005-11-19T18:50:00.000+08:00

haha... haiz... now i so so so sian.... -_____-
hmm... sometimes i feel tat got bf oso quite nice de... got ppl to pei, to care.... haha... can chat... but.... like tat phone bill very ex liao.... haha..... rite..? ^__^
sometimes see couples hor... a bit envy.... haha....
sian sia.... i tink now i better keep my mind clear of relationships.... unless i really really really really find tat tat guy is e one.... den i go ahead.... haha...

2005-11-01T21:59:00.000+08:00

haha.... few nites ago kinda like rejected him like tat.... haiz.... dono ar... all i noe now is tat i somehow don feel like steadin bahz.... dono lea.... haha... haiz.... sian ar....

2005-10-28T11:37:00.000+08:00

can't imagine that there's no place for mi to sae out my feelings.... haha....
just now...... reading a blog makes mi wanna cry..... Lol.....

no confidence, no nothing....

2005-10-26T19:50:00.000+08:00

haiz... last nite lying on my bed, suddenly e past flood back..... e times in secondary four.... e times at swensens, before e start, e start and e end....
haiz.... now my brain is full of rubbish.... lol... -_-

2005-10-24T18:30:00.000+08:00

haha.... recently tat liping wrote a testi for mi.... wad shit sia.... haha.... grab it....? sry lor.... i tink i wun cherish tinks de.... so i rather don grab.....

haiz..................................................................

2005-10-20T18:20:00.000+08:00

haiz..... frankly speaking........ i'm bored to death.... haha.... stupid rite....? well... actually..... i'm tinkin abt e future.... marriage may be a happy tink and may oso be a sad tink.... marriage allows ppl to live wif the one they loved for e rest of life, have kids, enjoy e company of kids u have wif ur hubby/wife.... but oso u can enjoy all these without marriage rite.....? Lol....

2005-10-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

haiz.... wad m i feelin now lea....? haha... i oso not very sure..... hmm.... introduce male pigs to mi....? huh? thz le, kelvin.... but i not interested......

2005-10-10T00:21:00.000+08:00

i actually already promised ray tat i would turn up for e chalet on sundae(yesterdae) de.... but.... i din tell him..... so he tot i duno will turn up or not.... i oso told ray on sat nite not to tell him tat i goin.... ray asked if i wanted to give him a surprise..... -_-
but.... i guess tat it got bit ruined in e (sundae) morning..... early e mornin came e sms saein: 'hope to see mi there'.... i really got a little little bit pissed off... cox everybody been askin mi to go lor.... so i replied him by sayin it's gettin on my nerves.... he replied: 'den don go lor.... simple'
frankly speakin, i got abit angry by tat.... ha ha....
before i left hse for e chalet, mum sae this to mi: 'tinks tat i've given up, don look back at it again....' i noe wad's she referrin to....
haiz.... recently tinks been happenin to mi...... i can't and don feel like shoulderin it anymore.....
sometimes i saw families happily together, i would wonder why i can't have e same tink like them.... sometimes i saw couples together, i would oso wonder why too... haha.... perhaps different people have different life bahz...
seein my parents....... frankly speakin..... i sometimes don feel like havin a family of my own in e future... even i wan, i really hope tat mine would be like a fairytale.... a happy endin....

2005-10-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

jus now was over e phone wif him.... now we like damn straightforward man.... i told him all abt wad i heard last time.... dono izit he got bit shock or wad lar... wadever lor.... and..... i said sorry to him.....
haiz.... all i now wanna noe is....... do i still care abt him ma....?
somebody please help mi bahz.....

2005-10-05T15:59:00.000+08:00

am i really born in e year of dragon?? haha... confident, wans tinks perfect...... don tink those conditions fit mi lor.... lolz....
actually been wantin to go to e library to borrow books de.... but nobody pei mi go.... den i oso sian liao.... haha....

2005-10-01T14:10:00.000+08:00

hmm..... recently been tinkin quite alot of tinks at nite..... been tinkin wad i really want in my life..... turnin 17 by end of year.... and i actually had no faint idea wad i really really want in my life.... isn't it pathetic.... haha....
and wondering.... ever since ray asked mi tat question, i've been tinkin alot.... do i still care abt him as before....?

2005-09-27T20:50:00.000+08:00

perhaps.... wanna sae sorry??

2005-09-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

now watchin 'the stairway to heaven'.... so poor tink..... haiz..... jus now chattin wif a fren, saeidah.... haha.... she reminded mi of her pregnancy.... 5 mths.... suddenly recalled tat when she first told mi abt tat, it's jus 1mth.... and tat time when i heard of e news, i was happily smsing to fai to tell him abt it too....
din realise tat actually tat was 4mths ago le.... time really flies..... haha....
den saeidah told mi to visit her when she give birth... and.... she oso told mi to bring fai along too.... haha.... tat time can sae i was dumbfound bahz.... haiz.... now really understand how he could have felt when raymond sae him at compass point...

2005-09-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

haha.... these few times.... whenever i got problems, i turn to kel.... well..... glad to have someone who listen to mi bahz... haha....
haiz.... marriage.... i'm sure every one wanted to get married and form their happy family in e future wif someone they loved and wanted to spend their life together wif.... ritez....?
well.... i'm no exception.... haha.... but.... i don tink i'll get married bahz.... tat's wad i tink now lor.... haha.... nobody noes wad will happen in e future... mayb i change my mind n get married lea... haha.... hope so bahz.... lol.... =]
haiz.... now damn sian... den tinkin of rubbish... haha

2005-09-21T21:37:00.000+08:00

haha.... here i m again.... din update for sometime le bahz....
haiz.... being single..... and in relationship......... well..... both have its own goods and bads..... single means freedom..... nobody to control.... and can do anytink u like and enjoy..... in relationship, u have e special someone to accompany u along e way, e special someone u love n dote on, and being loved ny tat special someone.... haha.... well........ m i ritez................? =)
sometimes seeing couples will make mi feel abit envy..... well.... i tink i feel tat i'm lonely bahz... abit yearn tat someone will care for mi every moment..... haha....

2005-09-16T12:35:00.000+08:00

haiz.... last nite dono y i tear again... haha... rubbish rite?
jus nw chatted wif kel thru sms... haha... told him wad 'mei ke ren dou you shu yu zhi ji de ka fei shu'.. he told mi wait for tat time to come, he waitin for his coffin liao... for mi, i wun even 'grow' e coffee tree.... haha... my reason? not interested in planting.... haha...
now chattin wif my dear, pris.... told her sometinks.... haha.... haiz....
jus now read finished e book le..... kaoz.. damn sweet and touching.... haiz.... feel tat this kind of tink wun or seldom happen in real life bahz.... but i hope to have tat happen to mi in my life... haha.... well.... who doesn't...

2005-09-15T21:51:00.000+08:00

been reading books borrowed these 2 daes.... haha... almost finished reading e books le.... haiz.... sian man.... so fast finish those books....
hmm... read those books le.... den got alot of feelings.... mei ke ren dou you shu yu zhi ji de ka fei shu... everybody have their own 'coffee tree'..... it's just a matter of time... cox u need time to groom a tree..... with enough sunlight and water, e tree will grow into a fine one..... understand wad i'm saying? haha....
tat was e first book i read.... e second book was..... love is selfish de.... and everyone had it's own defination of love.....
hmm... forgot wad i read le.... haha.... next time will write again... haha... paiseh.... hehe....

2005-09-14T19:58:00.000+08:00

hmm..... dono why watching 'stairway to heaven' hor.... i'll have alot of tinkings n feelings de lehz.... sigh.... haha...

2005-09-11T22:10:00.000+08:00

jus now tat patrick called mi.... retarded him man~.... and jus now noe tat my three worries had already become two le... haha.... tat guy oso retarded de.... siao one him.... asked if i got bf le izit... den sae wad wan jio mi din gif him chance.... retarded.... now he got stead le lor.... like wad i tink abt him..... cannot live without relationship.... idiot... haha.... m i e sort tat will go stead wif someone i dono very well de ma? -.-
haiz.... 2 nites ago got a weird dream...... weird weird de.... got wingyi, edmund n a guy frm my school..... haha.... e dream hor..... stupid sia.... retarded.... shit..... idiotic..... but nvm la... i seem to hav a good time in it... haha... but really hor... it's damn retarded....

2005-09-09T13:29:00.000+08:00

haiz.... i hate being at home.... now i feel like i'm a bird being locked up in e cage, longing for e freedom outside.....
jus now mum again ask mi go learn english.... wtf.... told her i not interested liao... still tell mi go... she like dono how to listen one de lehz.... i don like means don like lor.... force mi for wad....
i wan to go out.... but i can't.... so miserable man~~

2005-09-08T15:21:00.000+08:00

haiz.... vacation starts liao..... sian ar... this is all i could describe it....
actually wanted to go out to compass point todae de... but mum don allow.... she like kp mi last nite lor.... haiz.... so fan... she was saeing tat i go out wif him unless i still wanna continue wif him.... does tat means tat go out muz be in relation ma? cannot be frens goin out ar.... haiz....
yesterdae was walking back home from the bus stop at 7+... e whole stretch of road very quiet.... not much cars... only mi walking alone wif my mp3 on.... that was the time when i suddenly felt so lonely.... i had a urge tat someone i like was beside mi... haha... cox tat time when we go home, JL had horng bor to accompany on bus, pris had michael.... and mi.... alone............ haiz...
i'm so bored at home...

2005-09-06T19:51:00.000+08:00

hmm.... dono if i'm tinking and feeling correctly or not.... haha....
haiz.... i hope tat i wun like any ppl le bahz.... haha.... seriously..... after so many tinks, i find tat ppl will betray ur trust even if they are someone close to u... haiz.... but i tink tat i only noe how to tink and sae.... cox i noe tat i'll still trust ppl very much..... it's jus a weak point in mi....

hahahaha.... don mind mi bahz..... mi recently getting siao le....

haiz.... yesterdae saw some sms in my sim card..... haha.... i can't even remember tat i'm still keeping them..... i tot tat they r all deleted le.... -_-''' all i could comment on those sms-es is..........
haiz~

2005-09-04T13:05:00.000+08:00

haha... yesterdae was fun looking at e webby.... really dono how she did tat.... lol...
can sae since e incident, i found tat i'm actually not quite alone.... they r ppl who cares.... =)
and yesterdae was reading back my diary.... recalls back alot of tinks.... haiz.... jus a year only.... and quite a number of unhappy tinks happened.... i jus hope tat everytink will turn out happy for mi for e coming daes....
well... besides those unhappy tinks, there are oso some happy tinks which i will keep in e bottom of my heart forever.... and... i oso hope tat i will learn to sae out tinks tat i'm unhappy wif for instance my frens or my bf bahz.... cox i noe tat it's wrong of mi in e past to avoid e problems, instead of voicing it out..... so i would not sae i'm unlucky le... cox it's all my fault..
haha

2005-09-03T15:41:00.000+08:00

haiz.... dono should i go user report e 2nd time or not... i don even noe if e ppl at friendster r doin anytink abt it or not.... jus now i went to check..... it shows tat e bastard logged in yesterdae.... but e profile is still the same.... haiz.... den jus now went check how many ppl were linked to tat bastard... tons man! haiz....
should i go or shouldn't i go...?
and yesterdae was chatting wif kelvin over sms.... haha.... initally was very vexed over it.... den soon after tat, kelvin said sometink which made mi laugh.... haha... he put 'follow mi... breathe in, breathe out'............ haha.... i find it quite funny.... reminds mi of woman giving birth.... hahaha.... den i jus replied 'i'm not giving birth!.....'...... haha....
haiz.... at least last nite i'm still able to hav a good slp.... thank god..

2005-09-02T15:24:00.000+08:00

i really can't help recalling back e incident...... and now i find tat my bro's attitude is getting mi pissed off..... haiz.... i really cannot control my feelings this time... looks like now my feelings go haywired le... haiz.....
i dono will i be numb to feelings now or not..... jus one year..... and i've been hurt so many times...... i'm now sick of my life....... got hurted, then get up n recover.... den got hurted again, and still need to recover again..... i feel tat this cycle keeps goin on and on....

2005-09-01T19:11:00.000+08:00

haha..... now i'm taking tinks easy.... thx to delphine..... she adviced mi in school le.... den i tink tat wad she sae was quite rite.... jus ignore.... haha....
actually yesterdae was planning wad i wan to do.... i tot of alot..... complain to e friendster, reply him back using vulgur language, ask ppl to beat him up..... haha.... aren't i extreme.....?? lol...
but i really find it embarressing to find tat posted online...... plus tat there sure will people see it de lor..... i dono wad to do lea... haha.... should i jus ignore it?

2005-08-31T23:04:00.000+08:00

haiz.... i really dono wad happened..... i dono if i'm too sensitive or wad.... i tink tat wei hao don wan mi le.... haha... 1st.... i cannot find his friendster account at my own account..... 2nd... he sent some funny sms to mi lea... askin mi to delete e testi i wrote, sae don wan her to hate him... (i noe e her is referrin to who..)..... den after awhile sent mi 'u now jus hate me k Meh... jus sae my bad words to anyone...', and 'don reply any of my sms or online msg... sorry'.... i'm really confused.... wad do wei hao kor really mean?? izit he don wan mi as his godsis le...
and.............. jus now tat guy chat wif mi over msn...... he asked if i'll gif him my blessing.... now.... he finally frankly tell mi le..... he told mi tat he liked my fren..... all i could i sae to him was i will gif him my blessins... hope tat he will find his happiness and be happy..... haha... he told mi quite a number of tinks... his feelings....
i really dono should i be happy or not... tat he told mi his problems.... to show tat he still have mi in his heart, as a fren.... though i wish him well, i seems to be so fake.... u noe... u like tat guy... n u jus try to gif him away through ur both hands towards ur fren, e one he liked....
and i really felt so silly.... haha.... u noe... when he was chattin wif mi tat time, i was having stomachache... haha... but i jus wan to be wif him when he is feelin troubled... so, i din go toilet or anytink... but in e end e pain became worse.... haha.... aren't i stupid and silly enough....
i always tink tat love is selfish...... but jus now i was like..... u noe.... haiz.... i really really dono wad to do.......

2005-08-30T20:36:00.000+08:00

life are full of ups and downs..... and unexpected tinks...... haha.... sometimes people noe how to advice other people, but to their own selves, they somehow cannot do e same.....
today was toking to wei hao kor kor..... haiz.... noe tat he's still bit upset bahz.... haha... i oso dono wad to do.... dono did i helped him by saeing those things to him or not... haiz... jus hope tat he will be happier...

2005-08-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

jus now chattin wif tat guy over msn.... haiz.... i tink i felt so silly.... i actually noe tat wad his prob are, who he like or etc...... but i had to forge ignorence.... haiz.... i really feel damn stupid.... so fake of mi.... haiz....
now watchin e korean drama 'stairway to heaven'..... so sad and touching.... *sob sob*... e male lead is so faithful to e female lead.... *sob sob*..... so touching...... haiz.... wonder will this such tinks happen in real life..... i hope to find a guy who i really love and he loves mi as much as i love him too.........

2005-08-28T22:50:00.000+08:00

haiz.... sometimes really dono wad to do abt my life man.... haha..... though got ppl like mi, but e one which i lke doesn't......... lolz...... =] haiz.... anywae....... i now oso don care much le.... hahaha....
haiz.... sms...... now see those sms den i get headache..... haiz

2005-08-27T18:07:00.000+08:00

haiz..... can't understand why my life is full of shit man...... and can't understand why some guys on this earth are so retarded....... anyhow come jio ppl one..... go and die lahz.... kaoz...
haiz..... really dono wad to do lor..... really gonna be mad one of these daes...... though i tried not to care abt those guys and wad they sms mi...... but long term liao le lehz.... omg......
haiz

2005-08-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

jus now was toking to pris over msn..... she asked wad i wan to do abt e guy...... haha.... i oso dono wad to do lor..... lolx...

2005-08-23T16:40:00.000+08:00

todae tat guy din turn up for school.... only after school he sms to one of a fren askin wan to study or not... tink he don wan to see mi.... haha... and not only mi who tinks like tat, so does delphine.... haiz.... long story man....
haiz... fuck out lahz..... don care le... i jus wanna carry on wif my life...

2005-08-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

today i very very sad..... my pet tortise died..... 10 years le....... 10 years..... it jus left mi like tat..... and........ kena rejected by tat guy..... haiz..... if i were to regret, i'll hope tat i din sae to him... but nvm la.... at least i let e guy noe.. and hope i can slp soundly tonite... lol....
actually i expected e outcome... cox he like another gal.....
haiz... nvm la.... jus rejected only.... not 1st time le... lol.... takin it easy.... . . . .

2005-08-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

jus now was chatting wif priscilla over msn..... she teased mi abt him.... haiz.... she asked mi to tell him how i feel..... but i rejected e idea bahz.... she asked why.... i told her i noe tat he wun accept it bahz.... haha.... she encouraged mi to go for it.... cox scared no chance le.... cox next sem changing class..... and i noe tat actually i don wan to go for it cox of one tink........ haiz
haiz.... these few nites can't get to sleep easily...... sometink keep staying in my mind.... jus couldn't get it off my mind..... haiz.... miserable ar.........

2005-08-20T18:03:00.000+08:00

jus now saw his nick..... he's troubled.... haha... dono wad i can sae to him.... so jus asked is he upset and wad's wrong.... he jus said nth....
haha... i tink i very fake.... cox i noe e reason and yet i asked him wad's wrong.... but i can't possibly tell him 'hey.. i noe why u r upset'... ritex...
haiz.... hope he will be happy and free from it......

2005-08-19T21:13:00.000+08:00

todae is not my dae... lolx... haha... todae again took photos wif pris and del... not in toilet okie... is at library basement.... lolx...
hmm..... today's atmosphere is weird..... JL doesn't seem to be in a very beautiful mood..... though i noe why and wad happened..... haiz..... hope tat he will cheer up bahz.... haha....

2005-08-18T13:19:00.000+08:00

now still at e complex.... but is mi alone now..... pris went to meet her frens, del too...... den michael and jianle, tink at gym bahz...
told del and pris le.... i stress tat i still do not noe it veri well...... they both gave mi a feeling tat they are surprised abt it..... haiz.....
now it's raining....... and my feelings are exactly like it.......

2005-08-18T12:39:00.000+08:00

now at e tp sports complex wif del and pris... listenin to pris.....
. . . . JL... hmm... i dono wad to sae...... i oso dono should i sae or not lor.... haiz.... tink i'll jus control it lor..... cox i noe it wun happen e way as in like fairytales....

2005-08-16T20:50:00.000+08:00

haiz... so sian....
hmm... these two days had some fun in sch bahz... michael and JL... lolx.... both of them quite sweet de...... monday while i walking down e stairs in library, michael was behind mi... den he said if i fall he will 'rescue' mi.... lolx.... and JL came sit next to mi in class cox i'm left alone at e back of e room....
and ahem........ i not interested in them cox they treat mi like tat de ar.... mi now wun be stupid le.... i don wan to fall in love so easily liao..... confirm tat i like e guy n vise versa and e guy treats mi well, den i go for it... cox i don wan to get hurt again... i don wan anymore break ups le...

2005-08-15T20:43:00.000+08:00

haiz.... today inside e toilet at design sch... my frens, del and pris asked wad i tink abt horng bor.... i sae i not interested in tat sort of guy.... really lor... it's true.... haiz... jus kinda hope they will stop tat sooner lor....
haiz.... recently been pestered by tat patrick again.... sian man..... he's so irritating........

2005-08-14T18:50:00.000+08:00

yesterday din expect that liping will sms mi... and neither did i expect tat i will continue the conversation wif her....
and yesterday...... after seeing her msg, i don noe should i believe it or not..... realised tat the tinks around mi in e past are fake...... e friendshp between mi and liping, chun seng, etc etc..... FAKE!
haiz.... and i tink wei hao kor kor sae one is correct bahz... i'm soft-hearted..... i actually wan to stop contact wif patrick de.... today he called mi.... asked why i avoided him last time.... den he kind if like pleaded wif mi..... and i gave in..... haiz
useless mi.....

2005-08-12T21:16:00.000+08:00

today i was feeling abit irritated..... my frens kept making fun of mi wif horng bor..... den i raised my voice at them.... den i played wif my hp while sitting there quietly.... kinda like attitude them lor..... den i was quite quiet for e rest of e evening..... after school, at e bus stop, JL said i zi bi.... cox i veri quiet.... he SHOULD noe why my attitude is like tat.... kinda tink tat they are playing abit too much le....

2005-08-11T20:04:00.000+08:00

haiz.... i don like e rumours in my group.... wad mi and horng bor.... haiz.... pls lor..... first... i'm not interested in him... second.... i'm not interested in him.... third.... i'm not interested in him.....
today went tm.... take bus tat time still need to sit wif him lor.... haiz
is not tat i mind abt e rumour lor... cox jus havin fun mah... but i jus scared this keep playing on hor...... scared become real lor.....

~haiz

2005-08-10T20:52:00.000+08:00

today at sch got some stupid tinks sia..... wad mi and tat horng bor.... OMG....... no way man..... den after tat del paired mi up wif JL..... say wad JL flirted wif mi in e lecture hall..... haiz.... smt find they quite lame leh.... haha... but nvm lah... i don mind it veri veri much lor..... now like tat de lahz.... if no such tinks, den sch will be boring le.... ritez....

~hope my life ahead will always be sunny like the sun......~

2005-08-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

relation an investment?? tat's wad ray said.... hahaha....
now to mi.... i tink tat e 'investment' is a waste of time..... cox my 'investment' failed in e end de.... haha... -.- well.... tink it's oso part of my own fault bahz.... perhaps not cut out to hav steady yet....

2005-08-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

todae ccn day... haha... den after school go mixed wif edmund, chun seng and my wei hao kor kor..... hahaha...
bought some cookies and sweets.... haha... sweets are nice....
hmm.... todae did two tinks which i never did before.... -.-''' guess wad........? hahaha... i don tell u lea.... lolz
todae confide alot of tinks to wei hao kor kor..... got kinda relieve after doing tat.... haha
and noe smt todae.... hmm..... should i sae kinda surprise.............? =] haha... nvm abt tat... like wad i've said.... "wad's urs, will be urs.... if not, no matter how u force or tink, it still wun be urs.." or "when this tink is fated to be urs, no matter how much u hide, avoid it, it will still appear and happen in front of u..."

2005-08-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

today very odd lehz.... go anywhere oso see couples either holding hands or wad de..... den del keep saying jealous... cox she and sean dono wad happen la... haiz...
today got fun tinks happen.... e jl lor..... haiz... crapping away man...
haiz... mi hope not to keep tinking abt tinks le... last nite cried... mind keep tinkin.... haiz...

msn personal msg put 'i jus want a shoulder to lean on . . .' haiz..... i oso not sure wad i really wan... dono i still wan relationship or don wan.... want a relationship cox i really hope to hav a pillar to support mi... don wan cox i scared it will only be a waste of time and energy... haiz... maybe jus let nature take course bahz... wad else can i do....

2005-07-31T22:14:00.000+08:00

haiz... now my black eye rings back le.... haiz... cox sometimes can't sleep at nite... haiz... poor mi...... lolx... =D
haha... jus suddenly tot tat i rather mi n him quarrel than nth to sae to each other... haha... haiz....
guess tat i still can't change the fact tat i like tinking back of e past.... and trying hard to find out wad actually gone wrong...
haiz... jus tot of this... why is my life like tat.... all my relations don turn out fine... my family oso sometimes having problems.... seems like it's so imperfect...... when will i be able to find my happiness and my pillar of support where i can go to whenever i'm in trouble or etc... haiz...

2005-07-30T16:28:00.000+08:00

haiz... now msn wif joanna..... she asked mi e question.... haha... haiz... den i tell her suan le lor.... mi will still live happily without bf de ritez....
frankly speaking.... i don like ppl asking mi wad happen.... i jus wanna get over and done wif it lor.... but u noe la... frens who concern or kpo will sure ask de ritex... haha... unless i tell u willingly lah.... den is another or my problem lor....
haiz.... very sian... hope ppl from swensens wun ask mi abt it le lea.... i'm sick of answering le lor... cox i don like ppl askin mi abt it.. n i noe my reason is not very good.... haiz...

y can't u all understand mi... even a 30% is already good le...

2005-07-28T14:20:00.000+08:00

hmm..... dono should i be relieve tat i'm now single or wad.... haiz.... last nite got msn..... he like still got nth to sae to mi lea.... muz sae smt 1st den he will continue lor..... dono should i sae tat i can be spared from e agony now or not.... cox tat time i can't stand it is tat he got nth to tok to mi lor..... n i get angry when tat happens..... tat's y i din reply back e sms when i jus received 'i c', 'ok lor', etc etc.....
haiz.... but now are frens le... so.... like tat lor....
hmm.... don tink too much.... don tink too much.... don tink too much....

~e way of living...... is to be happy~!

2005-07-27T10:31:00.000+08:00

haiz... yest got slight headache man..... haiz... nite even worse...... can't get to sleep.... haiz.... alot of tinks kept entering my head...... made mi keep tossing and turning around on my bed..... haiz.... wad the heck man......
wadever bahz.... i'm gonna keep myself hapi, hapi n hapi..... days are gonna be wonderful for mi...... =]

2005-07-25T22:03:00.000+08:00

now i'm single le.... now..... though i wad e one who wanted it in e first place........ i kinda still feel upset in e beginning.... haha... guess i'll be fine after a while.... :)

2005-07-20T14:27:00.000+08:00

getting abit tired as days go by....... haiz..... tryin ghard to control le..... but still bit difficult...... haha -.-''' haiz..... why, why, why....... lolz
haiz..... dono wad to do le lea..... sian lor.... tinks are getting more and more stupid...... sure one day i will burst up de..... haiz

2005-07-19T15:36:00.000+08:00

haiz.... these few days getting colder n colder.....
jus now..... sms after paper..... again goes like this only at e 3rd msg.... [I c] see le i can't even bother to reply back n jus leave e phone le..... haiz.... really see this kind of text hor...... sian liao lor..... haiz.....

2005-07-12T15:01:00.000+08:00

haiz... yest received a call.... dono who's e caller anyway.... e sounds coming from e other party sounds......... erm..... dono how to describe lor.... haiz..... n mi feel so idiotic.... keeping saying 'hello'.... but e party like din respond lea..... n e strange sounds continue.... den i jus scolded vugluarities into e phone.... haha.... lolz... -.-'''

2005-07-12T03:27:00.000+08:00

my 1st entry for this blog...
hmm.... at first dono should i hav this blog or not.... but in e end i still give it a try... hopefully tat my fren wun saw it.... but if u see it, can pls inform mi....?